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Yesterday.......
Jan. 16th, 2005 05:18 pmAs lj was down yesterday when I was at home I "updated" elsewhere, here is a copy of yesterday's udates.......
I woke up this morning to yet another txt from Jamie. It's ridiculously long *laughs* an email would have been better! In it though he apologises again for how he's been, tells me he hates himself for it. He also admits that there are no other girls (like I couldn't have guessed) and tells me that I'm the only one he wants. He swears on his grandma's grave which makes me slightly moe inclined to believe him as he only tends to do that when being serious because his grandma meant so much to him. He says that not being with me is driving him mad, that he never realised just how much he needs me. Odd that, I never realised how little I need him! Ah the sweet sweet irony. He says he doesn't care what his friends or family say, which confirmed my suspicions that the major reason he'd been off with me was his friends and family telling him that he'd be better off with somebody he could see everyday. It's no excuse, but at least it's a reason and I can begin to understand.
He wants to ring me at 1 o clock. I'll have finished my driving lesson by then so I have no excuse for him not to ring. But I don't know whether I want him to or not. If he does I'm telling him straight away that the first time he tells me to @#%$ off or insults me or whatever that's it, I'm putting the fone down and won't answer it again.
God, I don't know what to do! I was hoping somebody would be online to talk to but they're not! Meaning I have to make this decision on my own. Which I suppose is the way it should be, but still....... I know I'm likely to follow my heart and my friends and family will kill me for it. Although, by telling him no because of what they'll say I'm being as bad as him!
It can't hurt for him to fone me right? I can let him ring and have the conversation on my terms, with me in control. Yeah, I think that's what I'm gonna do.
Shall update again (if lj's up by then) after he's rung.
Thankfully he's not rung, someone's come to call for him or something, I dunno, wasn't really bothered as to his reasons. Been txting him for a bit though. I'm sure he's trying to impress me >.> Show me he's changed, and stuff. Like told me he's starting full time at next in 3 weeks, he'll be on £1,000 a month and that he's gonna get his own flat. Maybe he just wants me to know, but to me, it looks like he's trying to impress me.
Haha I do now have control over when he rings too. So at least I'm in control of all this. Because I wasn't sure I was going to answer when he rang! *laughs* I wonder if he's as confused as I am.
He rang me up around half 3, but we didn't talk about anything meaningful, njust was talking for 5mins about normal stuf. You know how you would with a friend? And told me to tell him when to ring properly.
I woke up this morning to yet another txt from Jamie. It's ridiculously long *laughs* an email would have been better! In it though he apologises again for how he's been, tells me he hates himself for it. He also admits that there are no other girls (like I couldn't have guessed) and tells me that I'm the only one he wants. He swears on his grandma's grave which makes me slightly moe inclined to believe him as he only tends to do that when being serious because his grandma meant so much to him. He says that not being with me is driving him mad, that he never realised just how much he needs me. Odd that, I never realised how little I need him! Ah the sweet sweet irony. He says he doesn't care what his friends or family say, which confirmed my suspicions that the major reason he'd been off with me was his friends and family telling him that he'd be better off with somebody he could see everyday. It's no excuse, but at least it's a reason and I can begin to understand.
He wants to ring me at 1 o clock. I'll have finished my driving lesson by then so I have no excuse for him not to ring. But I don't know whether I want him to or not. If he does I'm telling him straight away that the first time he tells me to @#%$ off or insults me or whatever that's it, I'm putting the fone down and won't answer it again.
God, I don't know what to do! I was hoping somebody would be online to talk to but they're not! Meaning I have to make this decision on my own. Which I suppose is the way it should be, but still....... I know I'm likely to follow my heart and my friends and family will kill me for it. Although, by telling him no because of what they'll say I'm being as bad as him!
It can't hurt for him to fone me right? I can let him ring and have the conversation on my terms, with me in control. Yeah, I think that's what I'm gonna do.
Shall update again (if lj's up by then) after he's rung.
Thankfully he's not rung, someone's come to call for him or something, I dunno, wasn't really bothered as to his reasons. Been txting him for a bit though. I'm sure he's trying to impress me >.> Show me he's changed, and stuff. Like told me he's starting full time at next in 3 weeks, he'll be on £1,000 a month and that he's gonna get his own flat. Maybe he just wants me to know, but to me, it looks like he's trying to impress me.
Haha I do now have control over when he rings too. So at least I'm in control of all this. Because I wasn't sure I was going to answer when he rang! *laughs* I wonder if he's as confused as I am.
He rang me up around half 3, but we didn't talk about anything meaningful, njust was talking for 5mins about normal stuf. You know how you would with a friend? And told me to tell him when to ring properly.
